Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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