I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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