you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
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i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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