Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize