I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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