just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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