So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Two words: nipple clamps
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