Three words: puerto rican gang bang
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
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I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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