she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i wish my penis had a tongue
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
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I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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