This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize