I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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