so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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