dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize