I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
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He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
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Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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