ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I could make wine with my vomit
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
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once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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