Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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