I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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