Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize