That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize