I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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