i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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