I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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