How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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