sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
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We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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