so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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