Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize