Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize