So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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