she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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