11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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