Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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