It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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