Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize