If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize