My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
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Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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