maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize