Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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