I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize