Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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