i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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