I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just want to make out with him forever
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize