He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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