Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize