First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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