I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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