I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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