burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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