At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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