"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize