evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just found puke in my bra..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize