I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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