A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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